Of Love and Good Bye

GIRL: Your new girl friend is pretty. (I bet she stole your heart)
BOY: Yeah, she is. (But you're still the most beautiful girl I know)
GIRL: I hear she's funny and amazing. (All the stuff I wasn't...)
BOY: She sure is. (But she's nothing compared to you)
GIRL: I bet you know everything about her by now. (Just like you used to know eerything about me)
BOY: Only the stuff that count. (I can't remember what she says when I think of you)
GIRL: Well... I hope you guys last. (Cause we never did)
BOY: I hope we do too. (Whatever happened to me and you?)
GIRL: Well I have to go. (Before I start to cry)
BOY: Yeah me too. (I hope you don't cry)
GIRL: Bye. (I still love you)
BOY: Later. (I never stopped)

Of Posting and Chilling

49 days has passed.And yet, im still at home.Doing nothing.I'm tired when people keep asking me when, where or anything related to the posting because me, myself have no idea about the posting too. Few weeks ago, i would feel like an idiot or a loser when people asked me about posting. The truth is all 129 students in my cohort also don't have any news about our posting. Today,my feeling towards posting is indifferent.I'm tired of waiting and to be honest I have less motivation to teach. I prefer to be at home. Chilling and doing the house chores :P Now, I'm quite occupied with my daily routine. And my dad keep on calling me as his new bibik ;( Mind you, I prefer to be called maid instead of bibik. Make it more interesting, how about 'french maid'? roflmao



9 am - wake up
10 am - play wif the babies and chiko and feed them
11 am - fold all the clothes,wash all the dishes, prepare lunch, sweep and mopping the floor.
2 pm - feed babies and chiko
3 pm - wash clothes
5.30 pm - yoga and push ups time

7 pm - feed babies and chiko
8 pm - watching tv and my internet time
10 pm - feed babies and chiko again

And usually my sleeping time is around 2 a.m.

Okay,u can say that this routine is quite bored and i felt the same too. But, its ok.im used to it rite now. Being at home sometimes can be quite interesting especially when u don't have to spend much of your own money.lol.

You are too Sweet too handle

Okay, on the previous entry I wrote about PMS. A syndrome which quite hard for me to handle. I wrote about PMS since I was going through it tonight. A bit depressing. But, you know what? I think I found my solution already. A thoughtful and a sweet text for my loved one simply able to help me ;)

Hopefully I will always remember this -

"Hi I nk ckp I luv u,hopefully dis msg arrive at 11.11pm on 11.01.11 hehe"


Thank u sweetheart..
Of course, there will be a few problems along the way especially during the time of the month, but I do LOVE u too!!!

PMS

whenever, I've got PMS, I'll normally stress out.I hate the feeling.I wish I could do something about this instead of trying too hard to be positive. But, I read that most of women suffer of this stupid + annoying syndrome.For people around me, I'm so sorry that sometimes I'll be a bit harsh and hard to understand when I've got my PMS.Trust me,I'm so sorry. I'm trying my best not get affected by the syndrome :P

PMS - Possibility Min Stress

It won't only be a dream ;)

I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah, it was only just a dream.
So I drive on back, down that road.
When you comin back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

I was at the top and now was like I'm at the basement.
Number one spot and now you found her a replacement.
I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby.
And now you ain't around, baby I can't think.
Shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.
See your pretty face run my fingers through your hair.

My lover, my life. My baby, my wife.
You left me, I'm tied.
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right.

When I be ridin man I swear I see your face at every turn.
Tryin to get my usher over, I can't let it burn.
And I just hope you notice you the only one I yearn for.
Oh I miss you when will I learn?

Didn't give you all my love, I guess now I got my payback.
Now I'm in the club thinkin all about my baby.
Hey, you was so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough.

I'm goin through it every time that I'm alone.
And now I'm missin, wishin you'd pick up the phone.
But she made a decision that you wanted to move on.
Cuz I was wrong.

Along The Line

2011
It has been 17 years.And yet I'm still counting. I'm still thinking and of course I'm still trying to let it go. People say time heals everything. Still time has not prove me anything so far.

I don't know who to blame. It was so long ago, but I know somewhere along the line, it happened because of me. You were really in love and married a very kind and lovely man, But then,I came to your life and suddenly all things got matters.Money,relationship, style ... which you've got to change because of me.

Most people said, it's too painful to loss their moms because of death when they were still young. But,at least, they know and everyone around them knows that their moms loved them. In my case, you left me. You chose to leave. I don't know what hurts the most. The thought that I don't have the chance to know you or the thought of knowing you chose better not to know me.

Yesterday, I saw some Year 1 students went to school for the first time. It always reminds me of you. To tell you the truth, it hurts me badly whenever the memory comes across my mind. I wish you were there on my first day of school like other parents will do. At least, to send me to school.I had to admit that I was the one who woke myself up, ironed my uniform (got my first scar on my arm)and packed my stuff into my school bag.Thanks God, u left my school file on the table so that I could register my own self on my first day at school. Since the Year 1 students had their schooling on the evening session, I had to decide whether I wanted to go to school or to take care of my little sister at home since I always had to take her from the nanny's home at 12 p.m. It was a hard decision to make by a 7 year old girl. Contemplating of going to school but still worried about my sister. But then, I went to school since I couldn't resist the temptation of looking at my friends walked to school with their uniforms hand by hand with their mums and dads. I asked my sister to stay at home and helped her to sleep before I off to school. She was 4 years old back then.

I walked to school by myself and registered my own self. When the teacher asked me, 'where is your mum?', I just could give her my forceful smile. During the day, I just felt like going home. Not because I hate to be at school, but I'm worried about my sister. When the teacher said that I could go home, I walked quickly and found out that my sister was waiting for me at the gate school.

Dear sister,
At that moment, you gave me a hope. You gave me a 'spiritual security'..knowing that someone still watching out for me. You probably don't have any idea about this as you were still young.

Dear Mum,
Most people around me keep on saying I should call you. They said we should keep in touch. The elders said its wrong for me to ignore you.I just can smile and say I will.Nobody knows about this as I keep it. They can say anything but they won't feel the pain that haunting me till now. I just want you to know. I don't blame you.There was no one to blame. Make it simple... it was wrong time and wrong place for us.

Dear 'future me',
Today,I promise myself that one day when I get married ,I'll try my very best not to be the best mum in the world but a mother for my children.

Just Because

Just because you treat me this way
doesn't meant I have to give all up
it hurts
but who cares?
Glad to know
I'm just another option for you