Along The Line

She left me 18 years ago yet she is still around.Deep down i feel the pain of knowing she chose not to get to know me. I couldn't remember when was the last time i saw her. Probably 7 years ago. We met only few hours. The last time I talked to her was a year ago.That would be the second time we talked in that year.It was when her husband passed away. I know it has been a tough time for her and to make things worse I couldn't be there. Its hard for me to decide. Ayah would probably feel disappointed if i suddenly when to see her.I couldn't blame him for that. I know he always tries his best to be both, mum and dad. To play her role. It killed me when she said i should stop keep in touch with her when I told her I couldn't be there for her that time.

To be honest, the only way for me to know about her is by stalking her daughter's facebook. By doing that, i know she is doing fine. I admit that Im a bit jealous to know how happy she is with her new children, daughters and sons..her new life. I never thought that i would feel heartache when i saw what she wrote to her daughter.Its simple but maybe i was over reacting.She said, "Good night dear. I'll cook your favorite food tomorrow." I kept on asking myself..she is a part of me. But does she know anything about me other than my name? Like what is my favourite food,what is my hobby..all the basic thingy.Then as my sister keep on saying, 'She has a new life. Why do u think she wants to look back at her past? I mean us'.

Everyone said that I look exactly like her and i have to admit that by looking at her pictures.Im no more a little girl that she left 18 years ago. I have grown up. I wish she is able to see how mature I am now and how I look like rite now.I wish i could talk to her. But im still waiting for the right time.Its never about the ego.Im just afraid. Afraid of talking to her might lead me to be dependent. Somehow she had taught me to be independent.If only she wasn't the one that got away...

Bodyrock Challenge

Lets work it out peeps.Honestly, im not very good in following any diet. Besides, Malaysia has so much tasty food and living with my parent doesn't help at all.lol. Gonna start my new work out routine starting on this month onwards.Used to do 100 push everyday but for the new challenge gonna be more on my abs.Will post more pics on the new workout soon..What i need right now is to stay focus and a good motivation!!

Pics of me practicing yoga at home

Virasana

Awww..Silly you

I dunno what hurts the most..the fact that somebody was sneaking around my back or the fact THAT someone lied about it straight to my face..duhh.This is so YESTERDAY!!

What i mean is being lied straight to my face when i know every bit of the truth.C'mon u shud plan smtg better than that lie. It was too obvious but then I didn't feel the pain. I dunno why. I shud feel sad and a bit of angry but it seems that im totally immune. I kinda realise that i shouldn't bother much about it as obviously through that lie, it shows that we have different level of maturity. You are so childish.No wonder you still stuck in nowhere while everyone around you already move on with a better life. .

p/s: Im not stupid..Im just not YOU~

Priority VS Option

If you spend too much time on holding on to someone who treats you like an option, you'll miss out chances on finding out the one who will put you as a priority.

Listen to Bob Marley

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there." -Bob Marley

BERSATU 2008

It was nearly three years ago when he entered my world. There was no magical chemistry shared and no fairy tale first meeting. It was simple and realistic. We were in the same Frisbee team representing our club back then in Auckland. We met few times during the training but there were not much talk as we were from different crowd. Few weeks later, our team went to Wellington for the Bersatu Game 2008.He was cute and friendly in his boyish charm.

BERSATU GAME 2008.He is always the one who got my back. Even in our first pic together, he was there behind my back.

Two weeks I accepted a friend request from him. By doing so, I had not expected an adventure to develop. A romance. The text and YM started out superficial. Surface level. But as time went on, and with each response the text and YM started to form depth, insight and understanding. Revealing and exposing ourselves. I started to know him. And him knowing me. I could sense something as everyone around us was kept talking about him to me. He started to comment my facebook and did few moves.I slowly started to fall for him. For his dreams, his thoughts, his passions. I kept this to myself, how silly it was to fall for someone that I just met.

It would be nearly a month till I went out with him after few times of him asking me out. He was true to what I had thought him to be. I was nervous to be around him. He gave me butterflies. But I pretended to be cool.We walked down the city, as we questioned on each other likes, loves, dislikes,dreams. Everything. One night while I had my first pizza in Auckland's Pizza Hut,he gave me a look that I would never forget. Nobody ever looked at me that way. With such desire. Such admiration.I wish I could have seen me through his eyes.We had a talk for nearly 3 hours. Till the restaurant closed.

Albert Park, 2009. During the Lantern Festival.

I returned home and later he text me saying,'Never in my life, I had that kind of talk with a girl. Guess I really fall for you.' I was very excited but I still played hard to get. The YM continued. The friendship deepened. My feelings intensified. It was more than a crush. He was a boy I was madly and deeply in like with.

A week later we went on our first date. He took me to a music shop as I wanted to learn on playing the guitar. He bought me my first guitar's pick that I still keep in my drawer. He played and gang my favourite song in that shop.Yes, cliche but I was over the moon. Few days later, we start see ourselves always doing many things together.Talking. Laughing. And of course ready for an adventure.

Times Square, 2010. Had blast during the AND1 tournament.

In Auckland, I had found a city I was in love with and a boy that had and still captivate my heart, mind and body. I had not thought it was possible for me to like someone this much. To feel this way.

He knows me well.All aspects of me. The good, the bad and the ugly. And he is still sitting there next to me. He is a genuinely good, simple, tender hearted man with flaws and faults I am clearly aware off. And I will still by his side. I want him, with his shortcomings and imperfection. All of him. I had never felt my heart to be so fragile and delicate. There is nothing more in this world that I want than for him to ask me to stay. This is obviously more than a seasonal fling. More than just a summer romance.

Kuala Lumpur 

Until now, we are happily together. Yes, there were and there will be ups and downs between him and me. We both never promise there will be sunshine everyday.

Dear You, thank you for making me laugh when I'd almost forgotten how to :)

A Sweet Thought :)

[3:52:52 PM] faliq idrus: u nk masak aper today??
[3:53:06 PM] mintymints87: suma dh masak
[3:53:08 PM] mintymints87: settle
[3:53:10 PM] mintymints87: hehe
[3:53:15 PM] mintymints87: i tgh basuh baju ja
[3:53:21 PM] mintymints87: mantap x?
[3:53:39 PM] faliq idrus: oh
[3:53:41 PM] faliq idrus: awal nyer masak
[3:53:43 PM] faliq idrus: x sejuk ka
[3:53:48 PM] faliq idrus: kang x best mkn
[3:53:56 PM] faliq idrus: u goreng sayur awal2 ka?
[3:54:02 PM] mintymints87: hehe..yg gulai n kuah
[3:54:08 PM] mintymints87: mak i masak awal2
[3:54:15 PM] mintymints87: yg goreng ptg sket
[3:54:19 PM] faliq idrus: ooo ok
[3:54:22 PM] mintymints87: takot kang xdak gas ka apa ka
[3:54:23 PM] faliq idrus: senang sket kan??
[3:54:24 PM] faliq idrus: hehehe
[3:54:40 PM] faliq idrus: nnti kalo kita da kawin
[3:54:48 PM] faliq idrus: u jgn susa2 masak k?
[3:54:50 PM] faliq idrus: u rehat jer
[3:54:54 PM] faliq idrus: kita beli jer makan
[3:54:56 PM] faliq idrus: ok??
[3:55:01 PM] mintymints87: awwww
[3:55:06 PM] faliq idrus: u kena workout jer
[3:55:09 PM] faliq idrus: hehehe
[3:55:14 PM] faliq idrus: masak xyah

p/s: I post dis on blog so that i have a proof one day if the BF suddenly changed his mind after we get married LOL