im tired~

i dunno how to start..im just tired. I used to miss someone so much.seriously~however, it never seemed like he missed me. Because of it, I stopped missing him. and because of it, the feeling has gone. before this, he used to call me every day, messaging me every minutes and chatting with me every nite. but suddenly everything changed. it started when he went to different place which is quite far from me.at first, i thought that he is busy with his study over there.then, i heard rumors about him with the other girl. i said to myself ..it just rumors. but then ... i cant hold it anymore when he didnt bother about me at all. i was the one who called him every day, kept on messaging him..whenever i called him, he said that he was busy with his assignment, tired..and has no money to come over to my place which is only cost him 39 bucks..i asked 4 a break up and he said nothing about it. i was flatted with his action. i thought he will ask for forgiveness or begging me not to break up with him.. but he said nothing at all. at that moment, i knew there must be something on his mind. our 3 years of relationship has become nothing to him..after we broke up, ive got the news that he was cheating on me with someone that i trust..my close friend in college. he, she and i used to be together..he never admit about it eventhough i said i already know and my close friend has admitted about it. until 2 weeks after that, he admitted. i dunno what hurts the most.the fact that he and my close friend was sneaking around my back or the fact that he lied about it straight to my face..i dunno...these days, i to be happy, pretend that im ok..but, im not. im tired of acting on something that im not..im just tired~