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Monday, December 28, 2009


Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook.

My mum joined the FB first and her addiction to this networking has attracted my dad to join FB as well. To make thing more worst, both my 10 years old twin brothers joined FB too. I asked my youngest bro, Ejat, on why he wanted to join FB. He said," I want to be friend with Paris Hilton and Rozita Che Wan." Speechless ...

Well, the best thing about my family is we never bother about each other FB or whatsoever because we know that that everyone needs their own space. My dad even say he wont add me and so do I. He said that FB is the place for him to joke around and be connected to his friends. I respect him for that. My dad seems to be strict but he respects his children. He never check my phone but sometime he asks my sis to view my pics in my sis's

The good or the bad thing when everyone in my family has joined FB is that i have to make sure not to display any inappropriate status.So, mind you, there will be no more the four letter words in my status starting from now. Hopefully~

Just another few days ...

Just another few days ..

1. hitting to a new year '2010'
2. spending precious moment at home
3. heading back to KL/IPBA
4. starting a new life in the hostel
5. gonna see someone soon

New Year ... Excited? Happy? Sad? I dunno.. mixed feeling. And i cant draw any expectation on what will happen.Why? I learned that expectation (no matter how high and low) able to destroy heaps of things around me as well as myself. .my self esteem, self confidence and perception. I believe in just giving a chance on anything..

Saturday, December 12, 2009


your small simple words have stabbed my heart so many times.

At this time,
I don't have enough painkillers and band aids to stop the pain.

I just need some space to stop the bleeding ...

Friday, December 4, 2009

According to you

According to you
I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right.
According to you
I'm difficult, hard to please, forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress, can't show up on time, even if it would save my life.
According to you.
According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible, he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not, according to you.

According to you
I'm boring, I'm moody, you can't take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I'm the girl with the worst attention span; you're the boy who puts up with it.
According to you.
According to you.

I need to feel appreciated,
like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me dizz-ay.

According to me
you're stupid,
you're useless,
you can't do anything right.

But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible, he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,

i like the song especially the lyric. But i prefer him as the old you. hurmm ...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Cenge? what is dat?apa tuh? well, my dearest ladies and gentleman,the word 'cenge' refers to the aggressive in temperament which in line with the word 'fierce'.

okay, basically, this entry is made due to my dad's act of 'cenge'ness' lately. Last week my mum did tell me that recently (these 2 years) my dad becomes too cenge and she does not know why. I thought that my mum just bluffing or maybe she over sensitive but today I have to agree with her. I kind realize that these few days, my dad always becomes so moody and always scold us verbally even just for simple mistakes..hurrmm.IDK why he acts this way. Maybe he feels a bit tired or as my mum said he got

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Aku mau kurus!!!

okay, apparently I gain some weight since i eat a lot and less walk. Due to this major problem, i have to or i NEED to diet. Please yourself.less eat and more work out.

im HOME ...

Im glad to be home
to be close to people who i love the most
to be back after nearly two years

the truth is

i miss Auckland
i miss my life in Auckland
i miss
the calm
the people
the atmosphere
i miss the old you

now ..
i have to face the reality
Im home...
to the place where i belong.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

My 1st poem

If I lost you
I lost everything that I had
I lost my memories with you
I will lost you ..

Note: I wrote this 'so-called' poem when I was 7 years old (standard 1)when I determined to send a card to my mom but I didn't. I still have the card and my handwriting was really awful...haha~

my hair ... 2008

Sabtu in Auckland ... 14 Nov 2009

woke up at half past 6
took a shower at 7
studied till half past 8
went to exam hall quarter to 9
had exam on quarter past 9 till half past 12
went to munchy mart after exam ... got free pie and drink (already
went to queen st and kroad
went back home at 4
slept till 6
ate burger - thanks to zeti and ati :)
went to fudtown (bought salmon and heaps of chocolate)
went to uni at half past 8
studied at level 3 with James
disturbed Karu while he was studying at the sofa
went home with Pkah quarter to 11
cooked roasted salmon with lemon sauce
still facebooking till now...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

lesson for Today

money, popularity, fame ...
we ignore what truly matter
the simple things ...
like friendship, family, love
the things we probably already had.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Rumahku ...Syurgaku

This week, Dzeti officially becomes my new housemate. So, now our house full with people (Ati, Min, Pkah and Dzeti). BEST!! since, we can talk and gossip together as But,dis week shud be our study week. we have 2 exams on dis week.Damn, i havent study yet. By today, im officially retired from Munchy mart..*sobs* no more extra money to shop more extra NZD 1000 a month.


Just now, i sent 6 boxes of faliq's and my stuff to Malaysia..My house and room feel empty now. Suddenly, i feel so sad. I love Auckland.I wanna stay here more longer. PLEASE~

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Latest obsession :P

denim jacket and floral skirt

mini black blazer

boyfriend jeans and white top

skinny jeans and shirt

big tee and skinny jeans or high waist skirt

well, recently i change my wardrobe AGAIN!!! i really into these outfits now. there are really simple and casual..this is me lately.LOL.


It is raining
really BAD
in the morning
Im still counting


to be near you

minty mints


Im going to buy an IPOD touch 3rd generation 32 gigs this week..hopefully since i was dreaming about it like few weeks. I should buy it earlier but what can i say? i spent most of my money to something else..SHOPPINg~ I just spent 800 dollars these 2 weeks only for shopping.GosHH.. I need to stop this effing habit of mine.5 pairs of new jeans in 2 weeks are not gud man ...still got 30 pairs of jeans. I can wear different jeans everyday in a months.LOL

She's the one that got away

Dear mama,

I wish I had the courage to talk to you.But, Im not that strong. I wanted to call you, but my ego is to high since Im waiting for all these few years for you to call. I just wanna say happy birthday ...i know your birthday is on October 22 but im not sure how old are you. Im so pathetic, rite? I should know how old my mum is.I wish you a happy life, a good health and may god bless you always.

Well,there is something I want you to know. I keep it for 16 years. For any reasons, I do forgive you. You neglected me, you rejected me, you left me but you still the one and only. I want to see you. I want to talk to you.But, I am afraid of getting my heart broken again.Cause you hurt me so bad and I am afraid to be vulnerable. And I know that doesn't matter now after what you did and i did. I just thought that you should know. This was how I spent most of the time in my life, wanting you... I'm just too scared to admit it.

Im glad to have ayah around me. I know he always tries his best to be both, mum and dad. To play your role. I admit that Im a bit jealous to know how happy you are with your new children, daughters and sons. But, grateful that ayah has done a good job in helping me to be better person. Im not sure either you still remember my face or not because I still remember yours. Bangjim and everyone said that I look exactly like you. Whenever he misses you, he will see my pictures..


I want you to know.Im no more a little girl that you left 16 years ago. I have grown up. I wish you are able to see how mature I am now and how I look like now. Somehow, you had taught me to be independent and responsible. You taught me to be a good daughter and sister. I can say that im doing a pretty well in life and Wada is doing really good in her study. She just be announced as Young Business Idol 2009 in national level and score the best result in overall MUET in Kedah. We are really closed. Guess ayah must be really proud of her. She was 4 years old when you left her.Sometimes, she said she does not really have any memory with you. She was too young that time. All i want to say is Bangjim,Wada and I are doing well. You are still part of our lives eventhough you may say we are only your past. We miss you and once again , i wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY.




p/s: I LOVE YOU ...

Something that I need ...

“Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”

I wish I had been taught on how to trust when I was young. I did trust people when I was so young and few years back. Nevertheless, people kept on disappointing me. Heaps of promises, tonnes of sweet words ... loads of lies.

Somehow, I can feel ... I already lost the ability to trust.
Im not sure either it is good or not.


Walter Anderson once said,

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

thanks juniors :)

for all aucklanders cohort 5 IPBA, thanks for the lovely an=d thoughtful lunch.we had so much will be much enjoyable and happening if we have the opportunity to know u guys more in IPBA last few years :P

blogku bersarang sudehh...

lately, im so lazy to post any entry since i dun hv much time.working days and nites.tired but happy. i can say im so happy. happy to be around those wonderful people who appreciate u the way u are :) and of course i do miss my family and my bf so much.can wait to see them. just another few so excited but deep inside my heart there is an ache.i mean i love to be here. i really like Auckland. there are so many things that make me happy and feel glad. seriously,i want to be here again..i wish i only go back home for summer and coming back. i wish i dun have any contract with the government.i wish i can bring all the people that i love in msia to here..i wish ...

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Rambutku panjang sudeh ...

Last year and at the beginning of this year, aku slalu potong rambut.slalu sgt..mcm2la.alasan:

1. aku cepat bosan dgn rambut aku
2. ada income lebih
3. aku baek dgn abg korea a.k.a hairstylist and slalu dapat diskaun
4. aku ada masa lebih
5. Aku slalu gaduh MR.x (by now, u should already know who he is :P)
Every time we get into fight, aku akn potong rambut.. SERIOUS!!kalau x percaya tanyala mr.x or anak boss muchy mart.LOL.

This sem...aku agak busy.banyak esaimen and test.keja pon belambak. income pon xdak...Mr. X pon dah, xbolehla nak gadoh2..(I miss u like HELL!!!)
Well,it is a gud thing jugak x potong rambut. since, rambut dah kembali memanjang...suka2.Dah lama x simpan rambut panjang.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

These eyes

I want to cry again but my tears just don't fall.
Maybe, my eyes just give up of crying because
these eyes know it is not worth to cry anymore.

I wish ...forever young.

Jika mimpi, masa silam
Bisa kusimpan dalam kaca jadi perhiasan
Pasti aku, abadikan
Zaman riang, kanak-kanak
Pabila hujan mengundang suasana bahgia
Dalam hidup, yang seindah
Mimpi yang tidak pernah melukakan perasaan...

Tapi kini bila dewasa
Aku mula sedar betapa mimpi
Hanyalah suatu permainan
Jiwa insan, dalam, kesepian...

Jika mimpi, cinta kita
Bisa kuzahirkan jadi lukisan yang menarik
Pasti aku, sentosakan
Malam pesta, bila engkau
Lafazkan janji dan memelukku sepanjang tarian
Hingga pipi, aku terasa
Basah dalam tangisan
Yang penuh, kesyukuran...

Lagi2 Raya..

On monday, 21st of September 2009, barula all muslim NZ celebrate raya also known as eid.lambat sket compared to Msia and some other countries. Kesian kt student yg ada class. Tp, aku xdak class, enjoy sket.hehe.Start dgn open house kt umah for budak2 ipba, then raya kt rumah bos munchy mart wif ati, zt, hisyam,pkah, acap, afiq and anep. pastuh raya kt hudson brown (rumah afiq), then raya kt railway (rumah nisah) pastuh mlm br blk umah.penat2.mlm ada kwn2 dtg raya.ain, amir, k.shaz, yer, men,nizam,mon,akim, afiq, hijrah n acap (her bf). We had fun during our 1st day of raya.Main gtar hero was really enjoyable since we didn't have the chance to walk around and collecting duit raya.waa!!Loads of food..Obviously.kenyang tahap gaban. Since this is our last eid in NZ,we tried to make in interesting :P

ok.will upload all the pics with 3000 words esaimen and keja. c ya.daa~

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Raya datang lagi!!!

Dis raya most probably will be on Sunday..WEEKEND.IDK, but my dis raya not so meriah as always. Maybe, sbb ramadhan rasa sgt cepat. Then, x dapat beraya dengan semua org tersayang. Rasa malas nak celebrate raya. Tapi, ayah cakap raya tetap kena raya..OKla least xdak class and kerja during 1st and 2nd raya. LAst year open house kt WSA sgt best. ramai org datang.ayam sampai berpuluh2 ketul. Dari pagi sampai malam.Dis year x kot.ngak ada fulus yang lebih.Tp, maybe my cohort will buat open house kt my house.Bestnya.Rasa sket raya.huhu.Actually, my mind already dkt Malaysia. Dah nearly 2 years kot x balik.Rindu family.Its ok min...just another 8 weeks. Bertahan ... hehe.



The hardest paper so far. Esok ada test. Tapi still byk benda x abes baca. Paper ni plak paling payah score.dahla byk esaimen..ada exam plak tu..haish~

but, the best thing is EDUC 348 esaimen postpone for another 1 best bangat!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Few things~

These few weeks, i feel a bit blank.Too many things come across my mind.


and of course


Monday, August 17, 2009


why ...
how do i live without you?

tell me
cos i cant imagine
what live would be
without you ...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

things i like about you~

1.when u call me baby
2.the silly things u say
3.u're willing to cook
4.ur hugs..xoxo
5.ur cute face expressions
6.ur style :D
7.ur taste in music
8.u're the last voice i hear at the nite
9.u keep on trying in everything...
10.u never say no when i ask u to follow me especially doing window shopping.. we share clothes !!
12.u're protective and would take bullet 4 me ("~)
13.i love random things u do 2 me ..its those small things that are so sweet
14.u eat what i cook 4 u without complaint..hehe
15.ur dances..moonwalk :P
16.ur passions ..(photography,dances, u're my bf and besfren at the same time
19.the way u make my day
20.its just u and we together..4ever!

live life to the fullest!!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Everyday 143 less and less


Friday, August 7, 2009

True love is

pull the chair...

and let me swing!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Am I letting myself to act like a complete idiot?

i have the feeling
you just keeping me around
in case
no one better
comes along

I talk to you
all the time
but I can't
bring myself
to ask you
why you don't love me
like yesterday?

Im not a clown
neither a puppet
Im tired of dealing
with the same smile
that you gave
when you thought
you already won
at the time
I said
Im sorry

If my love
is not enough
to make you stay
I should remind myself
Enough is enough

p/s: shit..i think i have to take a poetry course.i tried to make a poem here instead it turned out to be like daa~ OMGee..I want to make a poem about what i really want to say and i dunno how to make it rhyme. it just what i feel dowh~

Monday, August 3, 2009

Harem pants

Yup, obviously I know harem pants aren't a new trendsetting revelation, but the truth is, I haven't got one. Why? Mr.X a.k.a my BF said he will not 'lepak'or going out with me if I wear that pant. He said i probably look like a clown or aladdin by wearing that pant. Yeah rite haven't see it yet really like this pant like seriously want it since the first time i saw these pants at Supre, Queen St where the price was like 56 bucks at that time. The new temptation is the price was cut down to 20 bucks...should I or shouldn't I? sigh~

The kite runner

I was accidentally ponteng my lecture today since i was really excited to watch this movie. The movie was really good instead it was superb. I highly recommend this movie to everyone.I watched this movie twice today.

p/s: it is really worth to ponteng my class to watch this kind of movie.hehe

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Money, money, money

Today, i had a great conversation with my BF where we talked about money. He asked me do i think that money is everything?Well, if he asked me the same question 10 years back, i would definitely say, "Money is not everything", instead i still remember that i wrote an essay about that question during my first year of foundation using the same stand. In my essay, i claimed that love is everything since i believed that money cant buy happiness.I listened to my BF first before i gave him my perception regarding the issue. He said he felt so confused with some parents decisions and hopes of making their children doctors, engineers,architects and etc (high profession jobs). He also said that why some parents view that these the only jobs that can bring heaps of money? and why some parents cant accept the fact that their children can be happy by doing things that their like eventhough they may be end up of having a little amout of salary.

To answer his questions, I simply said that older people know better in line with the proverb,'makan asam garam'. Parents want their children to gain happiness in their life and as time goes on parents always see these jobs give guarantee to their children. I said to my BF, maybe we do not feel it right now since we do not have our own family yet. Just imagine one day, you have your own family, you have children to take care of and several things to pay like house's rent, electricity, car, school's fee and taxes and at that time your children want something that expensive that you can't afford and say they want it since their friends have it. How? Once i was a teenage girl i made a long face when i did not get something from my parent and i know my action hurted their so sorry ayah. I was young and naive at that time :P But, my parent try to hard not to say that they do not have enough money to buy what i want instead they said next time or try to find something else that cheaper.I think it is hard for parents to say that their do not have money to their children.

Furthermore,I think it is easy for us not to say money is not everything as we are not in a situation where we have to sacrifice some important stages in our lives in order to survive. For instance, in certain places, some teenagers have to choose whether to further their studies or to start working in order to help their families. if we live in their shoes, money probably will be everything to us. Well, personally, the process of becoming an adult helps me to realize that I have to think out of the box where i have to consider numerous situations, actions and people before i simply giving my thought about anything.

Friday, July 24, 2009

shopping addict!!

Ipod touch + Nintendo DS + Laptop kecik Dzeti yg aku admire

bersamaan 23 helai baju + 2 pasang heels + 2 skirts + 2 jeans yang tak pernah aku pakai lg and dibeli dlm masa 5 bulan nie..Waaa.

Bf aku dh bising2.asyik tanya kenapa tak pakai2 lagi.aku jawab,"xdak masa.nantila.baju yg dulu pon x pakai lg."

oh, aku kena try stop shopping.matila.Last time ayah called tanya kenapa byk sgt jeans.aku ckp mana ada byk.Then, ayah aku kata, "yalah tuh.wada a.k.a adik aku yg sgt 'baik hati' cakap min ada 30 pasang jeans.>Gulps..kantoi<..lepas nie kalau xdak duit nak mkn, mknla seluaq jeans tuh."...Waa!!ayah kejam.

I need to stop shopping for a while...hopefully!!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I always imagine
that all these journeys
are part of my dream...

I always imagine
that one day
someone will wake me up
and at that time
when I look around
I will feel grateful
as I still in
my high school
where I have nothing
to worry about ...

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Ada apa denganku??

Today, aku x kua rumah langsung..instead, aku x kua bilik pon except for nk minum and kunyah something.It has beem 21 days of holiday and i still have another 1 month to go through.aku dh mati akal apa nak buat.kalau org len, mesti cakap,"waahhh, bestnya korg.cuti dekat 2 bulan".OMGeee!!bestnya;)aku tataw nak p jln mana dah.xdak idea.kalau ikot hati, of coursela aku nak p Europe, Las Vegas, Bali..balik Malaysia, kena ikot budget jugak.duit pon dah kering.pokai~

Things I've done so far for my holiday:

2.Tgk Tv (aku sgt jarang tgk tv kt sini)
3.Internet 24/7
4.Masak (cuti nie aku kerap masak compared time2 lain)
5.P spookers..yeah
6.Ronggeng at all shopping malls at auckland (st lukes, sylvia park, albany)
7.Tgk movie at cinema (The hangover, I luv u man and transformers)
8.Enjoy ngan kwn2 from Aussie
9. Celebrate besday aku ngan org
10.plan apa nak buat for hari2 yg akan dtg..waa


Someday you'll gonna realize
One day you'll see through my eyes
But then i won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if i can't

I know
You dont really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
Well i've got news for you
I know i'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

Coz someday
someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

But now
I know you can't tell
I'm down,and i'm not down anyway
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Winter in Auckland (2008 and 2009)

1. Auckland is too cold now compared to last year's winter
2. Still thinking on should/shouldn't buy winter jacket and sweater since this is my last winter in Auckland (my bf said i already have plenty of jackets and sweaters.but those are last winter's trend..LOL.)
3. Last year during winter i was 47 kg, but now 43kg.i thought im gaining more weight this winter.Maybe im too tired of working and im losing my appetite actually. I still can survive without eating anything except for drinking plain water for one whole day. I tried it already.
4.I was in Bersatu games (Malaysian games for students in Nz) last year but not this year. It was held at Wellington last year and it was awesome.Numerous things happened.This year, Bersatu will be at Palmerston North.But,im not part of it.Not interested.
5. This year im working at Munchy mart which is in my Uni. I have to save some money..huhu.Last year, during winter, i traveled around south island, Nz.Christchurch, Queenstown,etc.Those places were really wonderful.I was speechless wiht Queenstown's scenery and mesmerized by Christchurch's buildings.
6. I had an exam last winter but not this winter..Yaayy~
7. What i like the most about this winter compared to the last winter is....I have a BF for dis, no need to spend so much money to travel. Im grateful to be just with him during this winter..anywhere..i dont mind.

Monday, May 25, 2009

I should remain silent

Judging from the way I feel tonight
I believe you just might prove me right


1 Thing 2 Say 3 Words 4 You

" I love You"

but,lately ... I kinda realize
I should keep these words unspoken
because I don't want you
to say
" I love you too"
sometimes I know
you really didn't mean it

love is hard to handle
minty mints 2009