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Sunday, August 31, 2008

past, present,future

"Revenge Is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were)"

I saw it in the news
You told me they were wrong
And I stood up for you
'Cause I believed you were the one

You had all the chances in the world
To let me know the truth
What the hell's wrong with you?

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
When you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

I'm so mad at you right now
I can't even find the words
And you're on the way down
I can't wait to see you burn
You try to make me hate that girl
When I should be hating you
What the hell's wrong with you?

Nothing can save you now that it's over
I guess that you'll find out when you're no one
Don't say you're sorry now 'cause I just don't care

Monday, August 25, 2008

Pesan ayah ...

One thing that i like the most about my dad is the fact that he always write a note in the front page of every book that he bought for his children. For him, the notes are like reminders for us.

This is what my dad wrote in my notebook that he gave it to me at the airport before i flew to Aukland,

"Dear Kak Min,

you make us proud.
Use your time wisely.
Sembahyang adalah satu ibadah dan juga akidah.

I love you.



im begging you
stop giving me hope
im tired
im not strong like before
i cannot stand it anymore
i cannot pretend anymore
i cannot fake this smile anymore
no more~

Saturday, August 23, 2008

thanks mum

couple of days ago, i called my mum and finally she did answering my call which means that it was the 2nd time we had our conversation for all this year. well, we spoke about several stuff since it is hardly for my mum and i to communicate and meet each reminds me that when i was an adolescent, i always felt that she never care care about me, she proud of nothing about me and she do nothing for me except for helping me to see this wonderful (sometimes )by giving birth to me. however, there was one thing that she mentioned which made me feel that she also know something about me.during our 'mum and daughter' conversation, she said, " Don't always keep everything inside. I know you always keep things in your heart since you were young." Her words make me realize that it is true...I always listen and listen to what people say. but, its hard for me to let people to listen on what i feel. actually,i hate myself for having this kind of demeanor. i just can't see myself expressing something to others. at this moment, i just want my mum to know that it is hard for me to express what i feel to people and she should know she is the reason for that..I always want you to listen to me from the beginning of my life but you we're not there until now.You are the one who teach me to keep it everything since your life is to busy with more important people but me...and for that i thank you~