thanks mum

couple of days ago, i called my mum and finally she did answering my call which means that it was the 2nd time we had our conversation for all this year. well, we spoke about several stuff since it is hardly for my mum and i to communicate and meet each other.it reminds me that when i was an adolescent, i always felt that she never care care about me, she proud of nothing about me and she do nothing for me except for helping me to see this wonderful (sometimes )by giving birth to me. however, there was one thing that she mentioned which made me feel that she also know something about me.during our 'mum and daughter' conversation, she said, " Don't always keep everything inside. I know you always keep things in your heart since you were young." Her words make me realize that it is true...I always listen and listen to what people say. but, its hard for me to let people to listen on what i feel. actually,i hate myself for having this kind of demeanor. i just can't see myself expressing something to others. at this moment, i just want my mum to know that it is hard for me to express what i feel to people and she should know she is the reason for that..I always want you to listen to me from the beginning of my life but you we're not there until now.You are the one who teach me to keep it everything since your life is to busy with more important people but me...and for that i thank you~