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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

She's the one that got away

Dear mama,

I wish I had the courage to talk to you.But, Im not that strong. I wanted to call you, but my ego is to high since Im waiting for all these few years for you to call. I just wanna say happy birthday ...i know your birthday is on October 22 but im not sure how old are you. Im so pathetic, rite? I should know how old my mum is.I wish you a happy life, a good health and may god bless you always.

Well,there is something I want you to know. I keep it for 16 years. For any reasons, I do forgive you. You neglected me, you rejected me, you left me but you still the one and only. I want to see you. I want to talk to you.But, I am afraid of getting my heart broken again.Cause you hurt me so bad and I am afraid to be vulnerable. And I know that doesn't matter now after what you did and i did. I just thought that you should know. This was how I spent most of the time in my life, wanting you... I'm just too scared to admit it.

Im glad to have ayah around me. I know he always tries his best to be both, mum and dad. To play your role. I admit that Im a bit jealous to know how happy you are with your new children, daughters and sons. But, grateful that ayah has done a good job in helping me to be better person. Im not sure either you still remember my face or not because I still remember yours. Bangjim and everyone said that I look exactly like you. Whenever he misses you, he will see my pictures..


I want you to know.Im no more a little girl that you left 16 years ago. I have grown up. I wish you are able to see how mature I am now and how I look like now. Somehow, you had taught me to be independent and responsible. You taught me to be a good daughter and sister. I can say that im doing a pretty well in life and Wada is doing really good in her study. She just be announced as Young Business Idol 2009 in national level and score the best result in overall MUET in Kedah. We are really closed. Guess ayah must be really proud of her. She was 4 years old when you left her.Sometimes, she said she does not really have any memory with you. She was too young that time. All i want to say is Bangjim,Wada and I are doing well. You are still part of our lives eventhough you may say we are only your past. We miss you and once again , i wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY.




p/s: I LOVE YOU ...


Mata penaku Habis dakwat said...

terharu... aku lak emo baca entry ko ni.. u 1 tough girl, babe! happy birthday mak cik.. XD

Ain Sallahuddin said...

min..agak terharu la jugak mau menangis pon ade T.T huhu.dahlar exam kejap lagi, sempat plak bukak blog org.haha.
its true though.walau sebenci mane pon kite at our parent for what they did to us, we still love them deep inside walau secebis mana pon sayang itu.its hard to hate ur own blood :(.
so smile keyh cik min :)! hari mau pulang ke malaysia bakal tiba!yippee yeayyy!

p/s:sorry kalau merepek.dalam kepala penuh dgn benda ethics, chronic illness pain dan pelbagai.wish me luck! :)

nirzehrun said...

i almost cried reading this post. I'm sure that your mum is very proud of you and your siblings, min =) *hugs*

lovemenot said...

ati:haha..thanks weh.slamat bermain game

ain: if only she can read this :P

jg: *hugs*i miss u too..x sabar nak jumpak.

sheIsMe said...

hohoho..umo mama is 49~
born on 22nd of oct 1960~
ey..kita still ada each other wat~
leks2..although aku jauh ja ngn ank..ank still owg yg plg dkat ngn aku *ank taw suma trick aku*
ahhahahaha..sayang ank~*
bdw:awat pic aku xda yg segak2 ank nk boh?!!!

varsha said...

oh i can't stop myself to crying .....god bless u all