Something to ponder

You are together with someone for 5 years.
You love him, like you never have before. You can't imagine yourself being with someone else. He's your life. Forever and always. 
But. You start to notice the flaws. The little ones.
He's not kissing you goodbye when going to somewhere like before. Even if he's gone for just a few minutes. He's not saying 'thank you' when you cooked him a delicious meal (again). Or when you're cleaning up after a BBQ for his friends. He's not paying attention when you talk about how your day was. He's there, but that's all.
He's just what you expect to be, nothing more.
So you crave. You want something else, something better. You want to be welcomed when you come back home after work, with a passionate kiss. You want him to show the world that he loves you. You want to know, in every kind of way, you are the one.
The one and only. Right?! 
So then you meet someone new.
He seems perfect. He seems more you can ever think of. Dream of. 
He fits right into your perfect image. 
He walks you home. He takes you out for a walk. He's so interested in everything you're saying. He loves your meals. He turns the world around, just to be with you. 
He's everything you want, even more.
So you break up with your boyfriend. To be with him.
To be with someone you deserve.
To be happier.
You'll never be happier. 
In the end, everything is the same. It's just how you look at it.

-Le Love

New life's update ;)

It has been years!! Haven't update my blog for ages..Gosh!!

Current update,

Im engaged  and recently  further my studies to another level..
Im doing my master degree woot2!!

Along The Line

She left me 18 years ago yet she is still around.Deep down i feel the pain of knowing she chose not to get to know me. I couldn't remember when was the last time i saw her. Probably 7 years ago. We met only few hours. The last time I talked to her was a year ago.That would be the second time we talked in that year.It was when her husband passed away. I know it has been a tough time for her and to make things worse I couldn't be there. Its hard for me to decide. Ayah would probably feel disappointed if i suddenly when to see her.I couldn't blame him for that. I know he always tries his best to be both, mum and dad. To play her role. It killed me when she said i should stop keep in touch with her when I told her I couldn't be there for her that time.

To be honest, the only way for me to know about her is by stalking her daughter's facebook. By doing that, i know she is doing fine. I admit that Im a bit jealous to know how happy she is with her new children, daughters and sons..her new life. I never thought that i would feel heartache when i saw what she wrote to her daughter.Its simple but maybe i was over reacting.She said, "Good night dear. I'll cook your favorite food tomorrow." I kept on asking myself..she is a part of me. But does she know anything about me other than my name? Like what is my favourite food,what is my hobby..all the basic thingy.Then as my sister keep on saying, 'She has a new life. Why do u think she wants to look back at her past? I mean us'.

Everyone said that I look exactly like her and i have to admit that by looking at her pictures.Im no more a little girl that she left 18 years ago. I have grown up. I wish she is able to see how mature I am now and how I look like rite now.I wish i could talk to her. But im still waiting for the right time.Its never about the ego.Im just afraid. Afraid of talking to her might lead me to be dependent. Somehow she had taught me to be independent.If only she wasn't the one that got away...

Bodyrock Challenge

Lets work it out peeps.Honestly, im not very good in following any diet. Besides, Malaysia has so much tasty food and living with my parent doesn't help at all.lol. Gonna start my new work out routine starting on this month onwards.Used to do 100 push everyday but for the new challenge gonna be more on my abs.Will post more pics on the new workout soon..What i need right now is to stay focus and a good motivation!!

Pics of me practicing yoga at home

Virasana

Awww..Silly you

I dunno what hurts the most..the fact that somebody was sneaking around my back or the fact THAT someone lied about it straight to my face..duhh.This is so YESTERDAY!!

What i mean is being lied straight to my face when i know every bit of the truth.C'mon u shud plan smtg better than that lie. It was too obvious but then I didn't feel the pain. I dunno why. I shud feel sad and a bit of angry but it seems that im totally immune. I kinda realise that i shouldn't bother much about it as obviously through that lie, it shows that we have different level of maturity. You are so childish.No wonder you still stuck in nowhere while everyone around you already move on with a better life. .

p/s: Im not stupid..Im just not YOU~

Priority VS Option

If you spend too much time on holding on to someone who treats you like an option, you'll miss out chances on finding out the one who will put you as a priority.

Listen to Bob Marley

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there." -Bob Marley

BERSATU 2008

It was nearly three years ago when he entered my world. There was no magical chemistry shared and no fairy tale first meeting. It was simple and realistic. We were in the same Frisbee team representing our club back then in Auckland. We met few times during the training but there were not much talk as we were from different crowd. Few weeks later, our team went to Wellington for the Bersatu Game 2008.He was cute and friendly in his boyish charm.

BERSATU GAME 2008.He is always the one who got my back. Even in our first pic together, he was there behind my back.

Two weeks I accepted a friend request from him. By doing so, I had not expected an adventure to develop. A romance. The text and YM started out superficial. Surface level. But as time went on, and with each response the text and YM started to form depth, insight and understanding. Revealing and exposing ourselves. I started to know him. And him knowing me. I could sense something as everyone around us was kept talking about him to me. He started to comment my facebook and did few moves.I slowly started to fall for him. For his dreams, his thoughts, his passions. I kept this to myself, how silly it was to fall for someone that I just met.

It would be nearly a month till I went out with him after few times of him asking me out. He was true to what I had thought him to be. I was nervous to be around him. He gave me butterflies. But I pretended to be cool.We walked down the city, as we questioned on each other likes, loves, dislikes,dreams. Everything. One night while I had my first pizza in Auckland's Pizza Hut,he gave me a look that I would never forget. Nobody ever looked at me that way. With such desire. Such admiration.I wish I could have seen me through his eyes.We had a talk for nearly 3 hours. Till the restaurant closed.

Albert Park, 2009. During the Lantern Festival.

I returned home and later he text me saying,'Never in my life, I had that kind of talk with a girl. Guess I really fall for you.' I was very excited but I still played hard to get. The YM continued. The friendship deepened. My feelings intensified. It was more than a crush. He was a boy I was madly and deeply in like with.

A week later we went on our first date. He took me to a music shop as I wanted to learn on playing the guitar. He bought me my first guitar's pick that I still keep in my drawer. He played and gang my favourite song in that shop.Yes, cliche but I was over the moon. Few days later, we start see ourselves always doing many things together.Talking. Laughing. And of course ready for an adventure.

Times Square, 2010. Had blast during the AND1 tournament.

In Auckland, I had found a city I was in love with and a boy that had and still captivate my heart, mind and body. I had not thought it was possible for me to like someone this much. To feel this way.

He knows me well.All aspects of me. The good, the bad and the ugly. And he is still sitting there next to me. He is a genuinely good, simple, tender hearted man with flaws and faults I am clearly aware off. And I will still by his side. I want him, with his shortcomings and imperfection. All of him. I had never felt my heart to be so fragile and delicate. There is nothing more in this world that I want than for him to ask me to stay. This is obviously more than a seasonal fling. More than just a summer romance.

Kuala Lumpur 

Until now, we are happily together. Yes, there were and there will be ups and downs between him and me. We both never promise there will be sunshine everyday.

Dear You, thank you for making me laugh when I'd almost forgotten how to :)

A Sweet Thought :)

[3:52:52 PM] faliq idrus: u nk masak aper today??
[3:53:06 PM] mintymints87: suma dh masak
[3:53:08 PM] mintymints87: settle
[3:53:10 PM] mintymints87: hehe
[3:53:15 PM] mintymints87: i tgh basuh baju ja
[3:53:21 PM] mintymints87: mantap x?
[3:53:39 PM] faliq idrus: oh
[3:53:41 PM] faliq idrus: awal nyer masak
[3:53:43 PM] faliq idrus: x sejuk ka
[3:53:48 PM] faliq idrus: kang x best mkn
[3:53:56 PM] faliq idrus: u goreng sayur awal2 ka?
[3:54:02 PM] mintymints87: hehe..yg gulai n kuah
[3:54:08 PM] mintymints87: mak i masak awal2
[3:54:15 PM] mintymints87: yg goreng ptg sket
[3:54:19 PM] faliq idrus: ooo ok
[3:54:22 PM] mintymints87: takot kang xdak gas ka apa ka
[3:54:23 PM] faliq idrus: senang sket kan??
[3:54:24 PM] faliq idrus: hehehe
[3:54:40 PM] faliq idrus: nnti kalo kita da kawin
[3:54:48 PM] faliq idrus: u jgn susa2 masak k?
[3:54:50 PM] faliq idrus: u rehat jer
[3:54:54 PM] faliq idrus: kita beli jer makan
[3:54:56 PM] faliq idrus: ok??
[3:55:01 PM] mintymints87: awwww
[3:55:06 PM] faliq idrus: u kena workout jer
[3:55:09 PM] faliq idrus: hehehe
[3:55:14 PM] faliq idrus: masak xyah

p/s: I post dis on blog so that i have a proof one day if the BF suddenly changed his mind after we get married LOL

Me FART??

I asked the BF whether he misses some parts of me and he said...

[7/2/2011 2:33:08 PM] faliq idrus: not only that
[7/2/2011 2:33:11 PM] faliq idrus: but YOU
[7/2/2011 2:33:14 PM] faliq idrus: hehehe
[7/2/2011 2:33:15 PM] faliq idrus: most of all YOU
[7/2/2011 2:33:18 PM] faliq idrus: ur smile
[7/2/2011 2:33:23 PM] faliq idrus: ur giggle
[7/2/2011 2:33:26 PM] faliq idrus: ur voice
[7/2/2011 2:33:30 PM] faliq idrus: ur fart
[7/2/2011 2:33:35 PM] faliq idrus: hahahahaha
[7/2/2011 2:33:37 PM] faliq idrus: tipu je
[7/2/2011 2:33:41 PM] faliq idrus: u x pnah fart
[7/2/2011 2:33:42 PM] faliq idrus: hehe

p/s: I did and I do fart.Of cos,Im a human. But,totally not in front of u. Im a lady..act like a lady :)

Hooorayyyyy!!

Sorry for the late update.
Its not that I was busy with working or specifically schooling, it just because i was a bit lazy.hehe. BTW, I'm officially a graduate!!!


Officially, a graduate of B.Ed TESOL from The University of Auckland



My dad came eventhough he was not well and he had to travel by bus since it was a last minute decision. I was so happy to have him around that day :)


Well, people say flowers die. But then, my BF was so smart he bought me a bouquet of soap's flowers. It definitely won't die.haha. The BF was really helpful and cool on that day eventhough it was his first time meeting my parent. Thank you sweetheart :)





Overall,the convocation was more like a reunion as it was not that formal. I had so much fun. But then,I couldnt meet most of my friends as everyone had to entertained their families. Congratulation to all of us. We did it. Thank you for everything along the journey in IPBA and Auckland ;)

Skype Date

[12:49:11 AM] mintymints87: im heading 2 bed now..
[12:49:13 AM] mintymints87: huhu
[12:49:17 AM] mintymints87: gudnite sayang
[12:49:21 AM] faliq idrus: hehe
[12:49:25 AM] faliq idrus: im there
[12:49:33 AM] mintymints87: where?
[12:49:35 AM] faliq idrus: in ur heart
[12:49:53 AM] faliq idrus: seee
[12:50:03 AM] faliq idrus: im the sweetest person
[12:50:04 AM] faliq idrus: alive

Let's begin

This song makes me want to grab a guitar and start singing to my special someone. Too bad I suck at both of those ;)



You're stuck on me
and my laughing eyes
I can't pretend though
I try to hide, I like you
I like you.

I think I felt my heart skip a beat
I'm standing here and I can hardly breathe, you got me, yeah
You got me.

The way you take my hand is just so sweet
And that crooked smile of yours
it knocks me off my feet

Oh, I just can't get enough
Find my stoup I need to fill me up
It feels so good it must be love
It's everything that I've been dreaming of.
I give up. I give in. I let go. Let's begin.
Cause no matter what I do,
Oh (oh) my heart is filled with you.

I can't imagine what it'd be like
Livin each day in this life, without you.
Without you.

One look from you I know you understand
This mess we're in
you know is just so out of hand.

Oh, I just can't get enough
Find my stoup I need to fill me up
It feels so good it must be love
It's everything that I've been dreaming of.
I give up. I give in. I let go. Let's begin.
Cause no matter what I do,
Oh (oh) my heart is filled with you.

I hope we always feel this way
I know we will
and in my heart I know that
you'll always stay

Oh, I just can't get enough
Find my stoup I need to fill me up
It feels so good it must be love
I give up. I give in. I let go. Let's begin.
Cause no matter what I do
Oh, I just can't get enough
Find my stoup I need to fill me up
It feels so good it musIt's everything that I've been dreaming of.t be love
I give up. I give in. I let go. Let's begin.
Cause no matter what I do,
Oh (oh) my heart is filled with you.

Oh (oh)
You got me. You got me.
Oh (oh)
You got me. You got me.

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/you_got_me_lyrics_colbie_caillat.html
All about Colbie Caillat: http://www.musictory.com/music/Colbie+Caillat

I don't need Bruno Mars

Woooot wooot!!! Obviously, I couldn't spend time watching Bruno Mars live at KL and yes, thank you so much for all the tweets on how AWESOME he was at the concert (pls do tell me smtg that I don't know *jealous mode*), I had so MUCH FUN this weekend. Despite all the hassles on booking few stuff and the airport's problem,everything was totally PERFECT!!

Spending the weekend celebrating the BF's birthday in KL besides went there for getting some important stuff was definitely walking down the memory lane. I mean even it was only just 3 and a half months, I did miss KL so bad. And missing the BF is another pain in the A$$..oops, I mean pain in the heart ;P

After few weeks of trying my best and using the puppy eyes to persuade the big boss @ my dad, I finally got the permission. So, then on Thursday after school,I straight away went to the airport. However, I didn't expect that there would be a traffic jam after the lunch hour.I mean come on, this is ALOR STAR not KUALA LUMPUR.And yet, there was a traffic. .long sigh~ I arrived at the airport 10 minutes before the departure time and to my surprise there were no more people line up and there were people at all. I thought it was probably because people here prefer to go to KL by bus and of course I was Super STUPID, rite?I should be there 30 minutes before the departure time. All the gates were closed already. I talked to the MAS officer and he said I was really late and all the passengers were already on the plane. Damnnnn..at that time, the only thing a girl like me could do is to use my superpower ... dropping some TEARS!!lol. I nearly cried and I knew that the officer could see the tears in my eyes. Suddenly, he called the pilot and told him to wait. He said emergency case.GOSH, thank u so much. I owe u a lot!!Seriously.

Then from KLIA,I took the KLIA express to KL Sentral and I can say that it's totally awesome. I bumped into my BFF,Alia's boyfriend, Yap. He looked a bit different so I was quite afraid to say hi to him..hehe.but I did.




Alia's BF said my face was berseri-seri when he met me.Its not berseri2 la..its obviously my peluh. I was sweating like tuuuttt carrying my heavy bags ;(


Overall, it was amazing weekend.I had so much fun with 'YOU - KNOW - WHO'.We had a dinner at Tony Romas since he really loves the ribs and I love what he loves. hehe. I also enjoyed watching Hop and Rio at the cinema. As for the birthday present, I gave him something that will remind him about me every second..a watch. I let him to choose as I prefer to give someone a present he or she loves and really2 will use it.

For my sayang, happy birthday. I love you more than you know.I enjoyed spending the weekend with you.Who needs Bruno Mars if I already have you?Thanks for the awesome weekend :)

Who do you think you are?

Trust me
My head always know better than my heart...



I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love
I loved the most

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

- Jar of hearts by Christina Perry

Hey kiddo

Last few week weren't the good weeks for me. It was a bit stressful as sometimes I felt that working life does effect my social life.How I wish I could turn back the clock... Auckland and IPBA had really help me to get the fullest of my life. But then stuck at school with a bunch of people who are mostly more 'mature' than me in the staff room and thousand of immature students who keep on testing my patience everyday, has really help me in rising the level of my burn out.

Thus, those past few weeks I couldn't help myself of not crying. Yes, I'm lucky to have my family around me as I stay at home. But to tell you the truth, to a certain extent, I really hope that my friends are here around me. Having people who are in the same level and ways of your thinking is good as it's easy to explain so many things to them.

Nonetheless, one day, the minute I lost hope on everything around me, something happened in my form four class the minute I had finished my lesson. One of my male students (the hardcore and the noisy one)stand up and said,

"Teacher, I wish I could have someone like you. If only my parent was like you. You always listen. No matter on what we said. " And all the students in the class kept on saying, 'Yeah, teacher. Its true."

I just could smile but deep inside me, I felt a huge impact.
I feel needed.
Thank you kiddo ...You not only made my day ;)

Would you do the same?

Heyloo beautiful people.It has been nearly a month that I left my blog without any update. The truth is I have plenty of ideas. But then,the ideas always come at night where I already sleepy ;)



Call me lame, but recently I fell in love with Bruno Mars's songs especially, 'Grenade'. How I wish I could go to his concert on this April 10.I probably will be in KL during the weekend only till 9..pfft. Working does effect my social life peeps.

Okay, back to the song. These few days I keep on listening to 'Grenade' and was thinking that the lyric is super AWESOME! Bruno is such a sweet talker. I wanna know who is his GF. It seems that he might has someone who inspire him to write these romantic songs. OH Goshhhh,please and please don't let it turn up to be a guy. It will effing ruin up my brain to know that all these wonderful songs are dedicated for a guy...I'll definitely will puke in my mouth *buekkk*

A Twisted Love

He didn't like the way I walked.
He didn't like the way I talked.

He said I was dumb and embarrassed him.
Who am I? Why am I grim?

No more friends. No calls from them.
Who am I? Why am I grim?

I didn't flirt with that dude.
Am I vulgar and crude?

What's wrong with the way I dress?
My hair, make-up? Do I really look like a mess?

If I need to change all that wrong with me,
Who am I? What will I be?

The silent treatment -- he's in control.
I'm so sad. Why don't I feel whole?

I must've done something wrong to him.
Who am I? Why so grim?

I can't remember happy days...
Only his possessive, jealous ways.

First a push, a little shove...
Is this it? Is this love?

I thought it was true...
People who love you don't hit you.

Love shouldn't mean I need to be hit.
Not once or twice, not one little bit.

If I should change all that wrong, you see,
There'd be nothing left of me.

I'm better now. I dumped the jerk.
And starting to regain some of my former perk.

I can laugh again and enjoy my life.
It's much easier without all that strife.

If he doesn't make you feel good about who you are.
Run. Run. Run so very far.

-Judy Terando-

School Matters

So Far So ?

Good?
Great?
Bad?
Gone?

.
.
.
.
.



Well,life so far is so la la~ Neither very good nor very bad.
But, it seems that I gradually learn to be more grateful ;)